Being comfortable.

So I am at this point of my life where I am starting to get antsy. I know what I want to do with my life, and am trying to figure out how to make it all happen. So I just finished up A New Brain this last Sunday, and am now "showless." As of right now, I am working at Islands as a server about 5 days a week and that is pretty much it. Lots of my friends have left for other places already, and I feel pretty stuck. I still don't have a planned out living situation yet for New York, so until I do I am not 100% sure when I am moving. I am trying to push all of my friends who were not already planning on moving out there, to move. I am a bit of a scardy cat, so I think that if I get the people I love to go with me, the whole moving process wont be as scary. Also, I am really ready to meet new people and do new things. Certain elements in my life have gotten very comfortable, and I am ready for a change. I've kinda decided that being comfortable is lethal. I love being happy, but there is a very big difference between being happy and comfortable. I think being comfortable means that you are not taking any risks, and you are living life without trying anything new. I dont want to be that person. I want to be the person that goes out in the world and experiences life and accomplishes everything my heart desires. And what does me heart desire....I am not 100% sure yet, but I am excited to find out. I know I want to be an actress. I know that I love singing and acting more than doing anything else in the whole world. I know that I want to make a career out of it because no other job will make me happy, and we only live once, so I want to be happy. I also dont mind serving. I think it is hard work for good money, and I like working hard. I would be okay if I had to be a server for the next 10 years while I tried to make it in musical theater. I feel like that would be okay. It wouldn't be a desk job, and it would not feel permanent, so I think I would enjoy it. Leaving this comfortable life is also hard because it is also leaving some of the people you are so comfortable with. I am so used to the fact that I could drive for an hour and fifteen minutes and be at my parents house. I've never had to fly to see them before. I think that is what scares me the most. Family is so important, and I cant imagine not being there for my family. But I also know that my family wants me to follow my dreams, so I will not let them down. There will be many other people missed when I leave for NY as well. But I think the people who really care about me understand 100% that it is what I need to do. Anyway, I dont really know what this blog is about other then just getting some thoughts out. There are so many things I want to say but dont know how or why. Hopefully I will figure it out. So enough of this emo post!

I've got to go to work today at 12:00 and then I am meeting Geoff and his parents and my Dad and his work friend at the Brea Yard House for dinner. My Dad is up here on business so I am really glad that I get to see him! Part of me wants to tell him SOOOO bad that I have a dog just to get it over with. I feel like he would freak out way less than my Mom, but I also dont think the Yard House with Geoff and his family is the most appropriate time to tell him. Part of me just wants to go down to San Diego this weekend and bring my dog and just deal with the wrath of them finding out about her. It's going to be tough...they are not going to be happy! Okay, enough of that! I am going to relax before work. Till the next post :)